Amber Alert
by NewDawnFox
Summary: After the events on malachor, what will be going through the head of our young jedi to be? and what will the jedi master's answer? don't read if you have not seen the season 2 finale, but who hasn't. (one shot)
Amber alert

 **An: After watching the epic season 2 finale for the millionth time since it aired, I couldn't help but write this piece out.**

Ezra's pov

It's been over a week since Kanan and I came home to the rest of the crew, a week since Ahsoka went missing, maybe dead, maybe not but neither Kanan or I know what truly happened to her, we can only guess. I sigh, it has also been a week since Kanan lost his eyes to Maul. I can't believe I ever trusted the guy or half a guy, as I found out from Kanan that his body was cut in half by Obi wan kenobi when he was just a padawan, but Maul did lead me to the sith holocron and I have been working to open it.

I feel like all of this is my fault somehow, that maybe I should not have listened to master Yoda, that maybe he was using us to complete a mission for him, but Kanan said he trusted him and I do trust Kanan,more than some ghostly vision of a Jedi grand master, more than anyone else in the galaxy. I just knew that if something more happened to him I don't know what I would do or what I would be without him.

I shake my head to get rid of the thought of a galaxy without Kanan in it and move to the refresher, maybe some cool water on my face will help free my mind of these depressing thoughts. I stumble a little as I get to the door, I had been doing a lot of that lately in the past week, I don't understand why I am though.

I sigh and go in, and the moment the water touches my face I feel better, as if some of my cares are being washed away. Then I look up to the mirror and see something that chills me to the bone and I run. I can't believe this is happening to me, after all that happened on that planet that I never want to name again, I maybe loosing myself anyway.

I run and run hoping to run away from what I saw, but do you run away from yourself. I hide in the vents, its the only place I feel safe in, a habit that I carried from my street rat days, something that I was sure I was never going to grow out of because I knew from those days that it was a place that no one can find me until I want them too. I know eventually I will crawl out from this place and face them all but right now I need to hide, even from myself.

"Kanan love, do you need me to get you something or find anything for you?" I heard Hera say as she and Kanan walked under neither where I was hiding.

I look down to see what they were doing, Hera is standing there, her hands on Kanan's shoulder as she faced him. I guessed it was her way of letting him know that he wasn't alone in this, that we were all here for him, as if a Jedi or Jedi in training need to be told that. My mind flashes back to the day when Kanan was teaching me this very lesson, to the loth - cat that I was and that just made the guilt I felt worse.

I remember the first time I used the dark side or at least what Kanan told me of it, now as I close my eyes I remember that in the sith temple I used the dark side knowingly, and that too was Maul's deception of me. I could feel my master looking at me, even though he and I had our eyes closed, we could always tell where each other was.

"No Hera nothing for now" Kanan says as I open my eyes again to see Hera and Kanan move away from me, Hera's hand on Kanan's arm as she guided him away.

I drop down out of the vent through a grate and run back to my room. I knew that even though Kanan couldn't see me, he could feel me and he would know where I was hiding. I was glad right now that I had a room to myself and didn't have to share with Zeb, since creating this base I had room to be myself, room to get away from the others if I wanted, just like when I was on Lothal alone without anyone.

Sabine even said she would paint my room for me as she was doing her room too, but right now, the way the room looked matched what I am feeling, dark and very little light getting through. I just didn't know how to get back to feeling like myself again, whether that was even possible, but I hoped it was.

My body starts to shake as I sit down on the bed. The sith holocron calling out to me over and over daring me to open it. I could also hear the Jedi holocron calling out in response to the darkness that it could feel, calling me back to the light. I could feel it too, the light, the dark, fighting over me and the darkness wouldn't let me go, it was drowning me and from what I just saw maybe it's where I belong.

"It's not where you belong because you belong with me" a voice from the doorway said.

I look up and see Kanan standing there, his hand on the door frame for support, his eyes covered but I could tell there was something different about him, as if something else happened to him besides loosing his sight had changed him. I know I felt changed, would we ever change back to who we were. A tear slips down my face as that thought hits me that maybe we wouldn't.

"What if it is where I belong, maybe you weren't supposed to find me on Lothal, maybe some other force user was, maybe a dark side user was supposed to be my master. Maybe I should leave so that I don't hurt you or the others anymore" I replied my head pointed to the floor, as if Kanan could see what had happened to my eyes.

I could feel Kanan move and sit down beside me, my body still trembling as I feel his arm go around me and pull me into a hug. For the moment I could only feel, his warmth, his care for me, that we were a set, a pair, then I remember what he told Maul, you didn't get one without the other. I tensed for a moment as I thought about my feelings, if what is happening to me also might be happening to him, then it would really be my fault that the Jedi were gone and I didn't want that to happen, I had to stop this what ever this is.

"Ezra you leaving or trying to do something like that might get you killed or worse. How is that not hurting us, hurting me" Kanan said forcing my head up so that my eyes were looking into where his eyes would be if they weren't under the cloth.

"Kanan...master, I am scared of what is happening, both to you and the crew, I just felt that from the start of things, maybe from the start I met you guys, that things have been getting worse for you and now that you are blind, I..." I trailed off pulling back out of Kanan's warm embrace as if I didn't deserve it.

"Ezra things happen, who is to say that it wouldn't have been this bad even if we hadn't met but what you have to realize is that you completed the crew, completed me, there was a missing piece that we didn't know was missing before and no matter what you do I... we will keep fighting for you. Even if one day you and I fight on different sides, I will fight for you to bring you home" Kanan replied pulling me back into his arms, this time I hugged him back as strong as I could because I knew then what I had to say.

"Kanan there is something I have to tell you" I said my head now resting in the hollow of his shoulder, my non injured hand playing with the treads on my shirt.

"What is it kid? you know you can tell me anything, I will not judge you for it" Kanan answered taking my hand in his.

Our bond that had been weak for a while now flared back strongly, reminding me of the first time I had really felt it and it gave me the strength to continue what I was about to say or maybe it was Kanan that was giving me the strength. Either way, I now knew I could tell him what was wrong and hope he would not be mad at me for it.

"Kanan I was in the refresher before and I saw myself in the mirror and what I saw had me running to the vents"I said starting off slow and leaning more into Kanan's hold.

"What did you see? you better not be turning into a lasat, we already have one of those and that is enough" Kanan said chuckling a little trying to lighten the mood, but I wasn't having anything to do with it.

"Master this is serious" I told him, smacking him on the shoulder lightly.

"Alright spill it...what did you see?" he asked when he realized that I wasn't going to be pulled out of the mood I was in.

"My eyes they have changed color. They are now a kind of golden brown" I said closing my eyes as the tears start to form again.

"Ezra...son, look at me" he said and when I did, Kanan continued "are you fooling around with that sith holocron? you know by now nothing good can come of it".

"I do but Ahsoka risked her life and maybe died because of it. I need to find out what it holds to help us, and to honor her" I replied, tears now freely flowing.

"Ezra, Ahsoka wouldn't want you to become something that you are not, just because of what happened to her and besides there is something else I need to show you"he said and started to take off the bandage.

"Kanan don't do it. It's too soon to take it off, you might make the damage worse"I said placing my hands on his, trying but failing to pull them away from the cloth that covered his eyes.

"Padawan it's fine. It's dark in here, well dark enough that it won't do anything to them but light enough so you can see what is happening to them and before you can ask how I know Hera told me as she changed the dressing this morning" he said finally getting the bandage off.

His eyes were closed and I could see the light saber scars that reached across from one side of his face to the other. Like me with my light saber scars he would carry them for life, how ever long that would be for me and him. Then he opened his eyes and I could see that the gold I had saw in my eyes, was also in his.

"Kanan how? only I have been using the holocron, I don't understand"I said as he took my hand again in his as I reached up to feel his scars.

"Ezra we are connected, you to me and me to you, just like I told Maul, we are one. There is no me or you there is only us. So what happens to you happens to me and visa versa, what happens to me happens to you, like the stumbling I am sure you are doing and are not sure why, sorry about that. Our bond which was weak for a while now has flared back strong again" Kanan explained.

"I understand, I will get rid of it somehow"I said pressing my head back into Kanan's chest again.

"You don't have to get rid of it if you don't really want too, just if you are going to try and open it again, wait for me to help you. After all we took that holocron together and I think that must mean we open it together"Kanan said.

"But you're..."

"A Jedi? well so are you or at least one in training, but that doesn't matter, sith holocrons are just like Jedi ones all you need to do is to find the right key to open it" Kanan said, cutting off my thoughts with ones of his own.

"Maul said that one had to be a sith or think like one to open the holocron"I said closing my eyes as I could feel more tears falling again.

"So that means a Jedi could open this holocron if he or she uses the emotions that the dark side draws it's power from, but that will not work for you or me alone though, even though the darkness I feel in you is stronger than what is in me, neither is strong enough to do what a sith can do with a holocron like this" Kanan told me pulling his hands away from me and putting the bandage back in place.

Seeing and hearing all that he had said made me feel better, as I was still afraid that he will never fully recover his sight or that we would never get back to the team we once were. Guilt flashed through me again as Kanan wrapped his arms around me, I know what he said but should I keep trying to open it and risk both of us or should I just get rid of it as it could still hurt Kanan or any of the ghost crew.

"Ezra I can feel what you are feeling and Ezra you have nothing to be guilty over. Remember when you first joined us, when I gave you the choice to be trained as a Jedi?well that wasn't only your choice it was mine as well" Kanan told me, his body and force signature finally driving out the cold that the darkness had left.

"But what if..." I started to say before Kanan cut me off "what if things get worse than they are right now? that too is my choice. Do I risk you opening the holocron by yourself, which right now I know you can't do and you know you can't, as I told you we need to open it together. So do I now risk opening myself and you to the dark side as we need each other to open it".

"But we...I...it doesn't matter" I said knowing that I needed to get the sith holocron away, maybe throw it down one of those spider holes, I would like to see anyone get the holocron away from one of those things.

"You sure about this"he asked when I told him of what I was going to do with it, then he said " fine we will call your messing around with the sith holocron an amber alert".

An amber alert...I like the sound of that and as I turned my head to the shiny metal on the wall and what I saw made me smile as I knew that what I saw there would be the same as Kanan's that was under the bandage too.

I snuggled into Kanan's hold and quickly fell asleep, safe in the knowledge that what I saw in the mirror before will never happen again. My eyes are blue again, just like I was sure that Kanan's were blue - green again and they are going to stay that way.

 **An: like it?**


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